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I guess this isn’t really scary, just kinda freaked me out in the moment and makes me wonder about why this happened.

Also it’s kinda long.

Back in October of 2015, my grandmother went to have a small surgery on one of her ears. Usually with surgeries like that (although minor) they have you stay the night in a local hospital to ensure nothing went wrong. I don’t know why, but the doctor sent her home the same day she had the surgery and everything went downhill from there.

She started falling a lot, especially when she was home alone.

My mom would go see her every day or every other day to check on her since she was in her mid 80’s. Almost every time she went to see her, she would be on the floor. It got so bad that we had to place her in a nursing home for a few months. They wanted to keep her for as long as possible until she went a certain amount of time without having any falls, then we could bring her home.

When we could finally bring her home, all was well for about a week or so. She started falling again and was starting to display the warning signs of early onset dementia. Putting her back in the nursing home was the best thing for her, but it took a toll on our family.

My grandmother had been a very important figure in mine and my sisters lives for as long as I can remember, basically raising us from the time I was 3 until I was about 12. My mother was going through a lot of stuff, so my grandmother stepped in until she got her shit together. 

Over the next 6 months, my grandmother basically deteriorated before our eyes. She could hardly walk by herself, she couldn’t remember who any of her kids were, and she was getting really bad lung infections. Before long, she had to have a tube inserted into her throat because she couldn’t breathe on her own.

We then placed her in a rehab facility where she would stay until she died.

I remember one day my sister and I went to see her and she had a full day of clarity. She knew who we were, she knew who my mom was, and she was so happy to see us. I knew then that it was the calm before the storm, but I tried to stay positive.

That same night she slipped into a coma and only awoke for moments at a time.

She stayed that way for a week before my mom and her sister decided to take her off the ventilator. She stayed breathing on her own for upwards of 18 hours, I could only stay for 12 of those hours because I had homework I had to do. I knew in my gut this was the last time I’d see her alive, so I gave her a kiss on the cheek, told her I loved her, and went home. 

That night I fell asleep around 11 and had a very vivid dream.

My sister and mom and I were walking down the hallway of the rehab facility to my grandmothers room, when we rounded the corner she was sitting up in her bed, the tubes and wires were gone and she had an oxygen mask on. She took it off, looked at me with a big smile and said “Hi Hannah-Bug!”I jolted awake with tears streaming down my face, knowing in my gut that she was gone. I looked at the clock, 4:25 AM.

My mom woke me again at 8 o’clock the next morning, not bothering to wake me for school since she knew I wouldn’t want to go. She told me Mamaw had died around 4:23 that morning. I laid in bed the rest of the day, full of sadness and confusion.

Was that her telling me goodbye?

I’ll never really know the answer to that.


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