I have been hesitant to share this story but I’m curious if anyone has experienced the same sleep paralysis. It could possibly heal some trauma knowing I’m not alone.
I’m in the middle of EMDR therapy and have uncovered one of my most traumatic moments. I was 14 years old and survived my first suicide attempt. My first night back home from the hospital was intense. I entered my hellish sleep.
My senses were activated by what sounded like my dogs doing the usual guard (making sure everyone is safe before returning back to bed with my parents) it wasn’t. Instead it was a long, blue glowing demon. He was crawling on all fours with long cracked bloody nails, skin torn to shreds, revealing tendons and veins. He had one sewn shut eye and the other black empty eye socket. He kept crawling back and forth guarding my door.
Once he felt my eyes following him he turned sharply and smiled revealing his sharp bloody mouth. I tried reaching for a bible that wasn’t there and tried screaming but didn’t make a noise. Somehow I managed to wake up.
The next night I grabbed my dad's bible and put it under my pillow before I went to bed. Same thing happened. He was guarding my door again but his movements grew faster. I closed my eyes and when I opened them up again he was on top of me. Smiling. Than he spoke. “You are mine, evil is real, God is not.”
He put his finger through my palm and said “you are mine” and grabbed my dads bible and laughed. I tried screaming, instead I woke up with my hand burning and my dads bible at the entrance to my door.I told my parents and they took me to the doctor thinking it was the result of my medication.
That night he came back.
That time angrier. He taunted me threatening to kill everyone I loved. Than I got angry. Something convinced me to fight back. Dealing with mental illness and trauma is hard enough. I got the will to live because I didn’t want him to win. So I did everything I could to get better.
Going to therapy, having my medication adjusted and regulated, and trying to build some sort of positive spiritual life. It works if you keep up with it. His presence faded. But he always comes back when my depression intensifies and suicidal thoughts come back. Maybe he is a blessing in all actuality. Because he makes me fight for my life.
To reassure uglies I’ve been making huge strides with EMDR. If you need trauma therapy - look into it. It has helped me so much and has made me better mentally. I’ve been the best I’ve ever been in 15 years.
Long story, I’m sorry. I just want to know if he has haunted any uglies?
(CREATURES OF THE DARK EPISODE)